Grey’s Anatomy obsession.

By now I have declared to the world how much I’m obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy. I also have successfully introduced the series to a number of people in my life with the pretext : ” If you want more common grounds between us, you gotta catch my Grey’s references.” I too, shamelessly ignored texts with a reason as meek as “I’m watching Grey’s. My world has stopped.”

I am basically an emotional freak who cried for Cars when McQueen had to leave the town. But I have not cried for reality as much as I did for fictional characters of Grey’s. Oh, I did cry buckets for Sirius Black and Dobby and Fred Wesley but that is my past life.

Before I proceed, this post has SPOILER!!!  everywhere. From season 1 to the latest episode 19 of Season 10. So fans, please please please don’t read further and curse me. I can’t live with more bad karma. Also I’d hate myself if I spoil it for another fan.

My latest favorite constructive thing to do with my free time has been viewing quotes and edits on Instagram. It’s amazing how people take time to make those edits. And it’s even more amazing to relive the moments when you read them. Why is Grey’s so relatable to many of us? I believe Shonda is genius because she made characters which blend in us. I could find most characters somehow resemble some part of me.

Meredith is my favorite. Mainly because I am  that self-centered that I need the story to be revolving around me. Another example is Harry Potter as my favorite in the whole universe of Harry Potter. Also I really could relate to her in those earlier seasons. Until she became mother and distanced herself from who she used to be. Her mother issues are sometimes larger than life because she made it to be. She says she doesn’t want to be her mom yet somehow strives to be exactly like her. She says her days of trying to please her mom are behind her yet all she does is to get her approval in some twisted way. She has her own logic to everything, which usually doesn’t make sense and always involve tequila and overthinking. She is emotional but fights so hard not to be seen as a weakling. She lives in her own bubble not wanting to break it and let others in, but seeking for true love nevertheless. More than anything her attachment issues attracted me the most, which says a lot about my own personality disorder. So yes she’s much relatable. Or used to be.

As expected, Cristina is my second favorite. Though I admit she wasn’t that palatable in those earlier episodes. Not until she bonded with Mer. She is the perfect example of a strong willed woman who knows what she wants, who is aware her needs are beyond the usual horizon, yet works hard for it. She is determined and stands by her conviction no matter how messed up situations get. For example the whole Burke injured his hand crap. She makes worst decisions when it comes to love and relationships. I hated her with Burke. Mainly because she settled for him. She compromised who she was because she was vulnerable. Then she snapped out of it. She knows she’s a damsel in distress. I was out of the world when Owen carried her into the hospital following the icicle incident. She’s a Cinderella who refuses to admit she’s one. She doesn’t get involved easily but when she does she stands by it. She doesn’t leave because her partner has PTSD, she doesn’t walk away when her best friend moved on her life in another path, she doesn’t let anything stand between her and her dreams. She is Cristina Yang. I want to be her.

Will the world judge me if I say I am Mark Sloan in some way? Not the steamy one perhaps. Nor the  manwhore bit (?!). But all the other endearing parts of his.  He was self conscious. He was comparing himself to his best friend. He never felt he was a good enough man so he masked it with his Casanova alter ego. He was so afraid of love so he chose to turn his back. Until it hit him right on the face, in the form of Lexie. His sense of humor is out of the world. People can’t dislike him for too long. He definitely deserved better than what happened to him. Thus I only cry for a few minutes each time Mark Sloan or Lexie Grey is mentioned.

I could relate to many other characters too. Like the chirpy bright Arizona, dancing in underwear Callie, trauma stricken Owen etc. Except for one.

Derek Shepherd.

Because well it’s Derek who is all dreamy and surreal. He’s the knight in shining armour, all responsible and convicted, stays by rules, supportive no matter what, starts every surgery saying ‘It’s a beautiful day to save lives’, and has the perfect hair ever. He’s perfect.

I want my Derek Shepherd served on a plate please. Handcuffed to the posts of my bed.

Thankyouverymuch.

I rise and fall – with love.

raanjhanaa

I typed and deleted and retyped and deleted. And this happened more than thrice. Exactly how I felt when the credits rolled. Raanjhanaa – when you love senselessly. He fell for her blindly at the age of 6, disregarded the Hindu-Muslim barrier innocently, slit his wrist stupidly, waited for 8 years cluelessly and gave up the fire to live finally. I thought I was a lover, until some past events where I don’t think I deserve to advocate for love anymore. I don’t know what love is exactly. I don’t know if it happens to one multiple times, or if it does, is it even called love anymore. I don’t know the line that distinguishes love and obsession. I have no clue about how much to give in the name of love.

Love is a weakness as well as strength, that much I do know. It could motivate you to rise high up and conquer the mountains. It could push you down the valley and let you die there mercilessly. It could elate your happiness or crush all your hopes to smile again. It can make or destroy.

Varanasi_panorama

In Raanjhanaa, all I saw was destruction when you lose your senses in crazy mad love. As a cinema lover, I enjoyed most bits of the movie. Thanks to Dhanush and ARR, of course. I’ll come to that later. I have never been to Banaras before nor had the intention of going though it’s the city of salvation for Hindus. They say, it’s the oldest living city on Earth. Quoting my friend, ‘holiness in the dirtiest state yet you have to experience the Ganges Aarthi.’ Maybe time for a change in perspective. One day, I want to sit on the ghats and watch people get immersed in the illusion of washing away their sins.

Kundan loves Zoya – at the brink of stalking. You can’t help but smile throughout their teenage encounters. Be it his obsession with her, or her cheekiness in enjoying the attention she gets – they all feel real. When you were 14 years old, when the senior boy gathers his friends to stare you down from the stairs. When he attempts to talks to you under the pretext of a dare by his friends. When he constantly reminds you to tie your shoelace when it comes undone. When he meets you at the temple and you sneak away from your mother for 10 minutes. When he taps your shoulders and walks away before your father could notice. When the first time he kisses your forehead and you get butterflies all inside your stomach. Teenage innocent nonsensical puppy love. We all grow out of it. I did. Zoya did. Unfortunately Kundan didn’t.

It makes me wonder. How far would you go to make your lover happy, at the expense of your own happiness? Kundan did the most a guy in crazy mad love could do. He found out about her lover, convinced her parents to agree upon it, punishes her by taking part in the wedding preparations and promises to get married on the same day, as well. Madness at Kundan level. His anger upon knowing her manipulation of him to make her love come true sounded justified, even now. A very young, immature, not-so educated, heartbroken man could only comprehend that much in such situation. What unfolds later was cinematic yet helps in the flow of the story.

What moved me the most is not the love he had for her, but the innocence he had in him. His innocence in falling in love only to get heartbroken, his ease in smiling upon a small glance from her, his pure guilt when he knew he made a hasty action, his humane consciousness to get forgiveness from Zoya, and finally in letting go. Again and again I get reminded how education rips away the innocence in us. I no longer see any innocent eyes amongst my campus goers. Medical school where we believe to be given the highest level of undergraduate education. Yes, we have to pay something in order to gain something. So we paid our scroll with PapaMamaMoney and our own innocence.

Seeing Dhanush on screen, for the first time while he’s playing the dhamaru with the ohsofamiliar bright wide smile on his face made this fangirl in me swell with pride. One more time anyone includes his looks as his minus, I’m gonna slap them hard. How much more good looks do you want in a man? Spare the species some trouble. He looks perfectly conventional with good set of teeth and lanky small body frame with broad enough shoulder blades. His expressions are so familiar to me, that only the language is different. Kundan worked so well for me, because of Dhanush. He lived the character, which comes pretty easily for him anyway. Down south, this is what he does the best, apart from a psychologically deranged undernourished protagonist. Sonam gelled well as the young Zoya in Banaras, whereas slightly confused undetermined political party leader in Delhi. She looked the prettiest that I’ve seen her anyway. Reminded me a lot of some real life faces. Her wickedness in manipulating the attention she gets from men reminded a tiny bit of myself. I wished they indulged more into her characterization. To explain her conjectures about the whole Kundan-Jasjeet-politics situation. We never get to know why she did what she did in the climax. We hardly understand the reasons behind her tears. We want to know her intentions of placing her hand on his forehead when he is on his deathbed. Does she want him to fight and return? Or is she content that her revenge is fulfilled? Does she really hate him that much?

Music is divine – for both Raanjhanaa and Ambikapathy. I could go on listening to both the albums, all day long. If the cinematography captured 70% of the colors of Banaras, music captured the rest. Like I said in my previous posts, 2013 is indeed a blissful year musically because ARR doesn’t fly to Hollywood that often.

Raanjhanaa poignant and unsettling. Probably like how I might feel when I sit on the banks of Ganges – One Day.