At the age of 16, I developed this illogical theory with my super genius best friend. That the more you laugh today, the more tears you’ll have tomorrow. I don’t know if everyone treats life as business like that or it was just us with the twisted brains. However, the older I got the theory was proven more right than wrong. Perhaps power of attraction.
I am generally a positive person, with the outer appearance of a strong personality. Then why does Life screw up with me when I feel nothing could go wrong? Around this time last year, I was down with depression and anxiety disorder which resulted making worst choices in life. I am finally getting over it by ending all the toxic indulgences and keeping some addictions at bay. I have quit the previous job which didn’t give me the happiness I’d want and settled in a new, much better job.
Yes, I was finally happy with a home full of family members who await my arrival after work, weekends filled with healthy activities and much much lesser anxiety attacks.
Up until last week. To be exact, four days ago.
I never ever imagined the big C would appear in my family. I’ve read so much about every cancers out there, joked about carcinogens inappropriately, self-diagnosed my stupid headaches as brain tumors, reviewed plenty of leukemic children myself; but who knew one of my own will be down with it. That too at the tender age of four.
The fear of awaiting diagnosis is real. The constant running thoughts about chemotherapy and it’s side effects are real. The occasional tears while driving or in bed is real. The power of self-assurance is real. The yearning for everything to be a bad dream is so real that it hurts to even breathe normally.
Those who are reading this, please say a prayer for a moment or two. For the little boy who is fighting cancer like the warrior that none of us could be.
The journey has started, and I’m hoping soon it will be a real bad dream for all of us and we could be happy again.