It has been two years. I really can’t believe this. I can’t believe how I didn’t manage to write a single post decent enough to be posted in public. It’s not like I’m Rowling or Coelho or my writer ex boyfriend, who actually write substantial stuff but writing to me hold a significance. For example writing means being able to put my squabbling thoughts into strings of constructed sentences. It also means my English is still intact.

Thus to break this stupid ice, I am going to ramble about random things. Maybe updates – about me, about my friends, about my dog, about my non-existent social life, about Grey’s Anatomy. And get this hiatus done. So that I could unfreeze and write more often.

I moved out from my hometown, to a new sub-city. I rented my own place with a jacuzzi, which I personally feel overrated because my 3 year old nephew could count the number of times I was in it. No, scratch that. My nephew is a superhero who could count more than that. I had a king size bed all to myself, an open walk in closet, cooked some meals for myself and perhaps a date, had a privilege card to the bar I frequently visited, had my favorite by the window seat at my favorite coffee shop, regular massage parlor and memorized the stores in two malls before I moved back with my parents. I love Ipoh, it holds a very nostalgic place in my heart. But my liver is quite thanking me now, if you know what I mean.

I walked in and out of a few flings, one terrible relationship with even more horrible breakup. I sailed through some sessions with the shrink, though didn’t manage to finish them because honestly I just wanted the pills, not the talking sessions. I had sleeping disorders, eating disorders, keeping human contact disorders, but I was still kicking ass. Or that’s what I’d like to believe. Yes, I totally do. Self confidence is the key.

I had a fallout, with some people I never thought I would. They were once the most important people in my life. I called them my second family. All of a sudden, I went non-existent to them, and perhaps vice versa. The worst part of such fallout is the pain that creeps on you like a shadow, slowly blending into your daily life until you don’t realize it’s there anymore. The best part is, well – yet to come.

I have two favorite nephews now. One is three and ten months old while the other is a pile of 6 months. It’s incredible how much energy does a three year old toddler stores in his tiny tiny body. And it’s much more incredible how peaceful he looks while in his sleep. He nibbles on my ears at times, bites my cheek at other times and mostly he just screams away my name when I don’t lose to him in a wrestle battle. I didn’t know I love babies until I got these two handfuls and now I’m finding for father to my children rather than a husband. Quarter-life crisis starts exactly like this.

I went through my first year postings, and when this month ends, I’m completing my two years of compulsory service with the Ministry of Health. I’m sinking deeper into root canals and finding my happiness in building back broken cusps. I hear suction sound with each border molding and patients saying they feel much younger with their new set of teeth. I wear wedges to work because that reminds me of my mentor, who is basking her way in Manchester. I think the entire dental world is envious of her now.

My best friend is pregnant, due in January hopefully. Our daily conversations are about her swollen feet and her baby girl kicking ass in the tummy. I also got to know about Northern Lights and it has become my new bucket list now. Of course next to teaching Arshia’s baby some skills she needs in her later life. My another best friend is a masters student now with her first ever job to hold. She looks more gorgeous than ever, all thanks to the Californian sun she’s getting perhaps. All in all, thanks to Internet God, I still have my person(s) with me through thick and thin.

Some things haven’t change. I still wear my scrub pants to sleep, they’re still super comfortable. My dog still pretends to be scared of something we all can’t see just to get to sleep inside the house. Grey’s Anatomy is still an addiction, with or without Derek Shepherd. Oh by the way, I hate not having him around. I fucking hate Shonda for killing EVERY-Fucking-BODY. Later she’s gonna kill Meredith and call it No-Grey’s Anatomy. I’m still obsessed with Instagram and taking selfies, because let’s face it – I look great in my own photos. Or I just know my angles well. Like every other girl in this world.

It’s going to be Monday in an hour and I’m going to bed – because I’m an adult and know my priorities. Trying so hard to repeat that to myself so that I finally grow up before I reach my big thirty.