Emptiness you feel right after a major exam – because you’ve got nothing else to do.

With that painful torturous CPA paper, I’ve ended my fourth year of dentistry. I’m saving the rest of the emotional post about the past year for next week, when the results are out. I hope my provisional diagnosis and treatment plans are sufficient to pass me through this year without any sort of viva and supplementary papers.

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Kissing with golden face the meadows green – Sonnet 33

I love Saturday mornings.It’s my new Friday. I used to love Friday nights when I allow myself to owl through the night. All I’d do is indulge in Youtube watching 1256985336 videos – because my uni net connection is so awesome that videos only load after 3am. I’ll have no worries in the world though it’s not like I have anything to worry at all. At times I go bored of Karan Johar bitching and I resort to xoxo instead. Where I drool over Ed shamelessly, fantasize over Barneys and Pradas and plan in my head to add more drama to my life.

Now what has changed? My laptop got sick again, that’s what happened. I started having wrinkles around my eyes, Rt says. My dark circles are unbearable in the pictures. So I listen to my mother’s all time advice, sleep on time at night. And rise early in the morning. Like I repeatedly being reminded by these new generation in campus, age is catching up with me. As I actually see sense in what Mom said. Thus now, I prefer Saturday mornings to Friday late nights.

I love walking down the pavement from my hostel unit, gazing at the clouds. They form pretty, pretty cotton wools on the sky blue canvas. I like how the cafe looks on weekend mornings. Very less human movements, clean table tops, early birds holding books and my favorite table is always empty.

First final paper is on Monday and here I am, without a single fear. This year obtaining the exam slip didn’t inject any sort of fear. I think that itself is something to be worried about. Why am I relaxed when I know certainly I won’t get distinctions? Maybe that’s why. I love studying dentistry, scaling calculus away, curing dentures, filling root canals and being questioned by group teachers. I’m having a great time with my friends. Having finally achieved the purpose of this life, I should be able to retain this for another year. Aal iz well.

There is nothing like staying home, in the real comfort -Jane Austen

How strikingly true. Home is a place i was dying to leave when I was a rebellious teenager. Home is the place I spent the least time because I was busy with school activities and tuition classes, yet totally happy with it. Home didn’t seem too significant until like few years back. Now, I even envy my closest friend in campus for being able to travel home when the day ends.

Past few days were hard to go by. It felt almost like Year 1. The fear of not being healthy enough to prepare for exams and the consequences. The sickening feel you have upon yourself because your fingers can’t seem to hold the pen properly. How important motivation is to one, I now know.

I thank all the cosmic gods for bringing me home, at last. Sitiawan is a healing centre on its own. The sights of the long stretch of shoplots, the countless amounts of cars, the ridiculously overnumbered traffic lights, the temples of all kinds, kids gathering with their bicycles to flood the cybercafes, the roadside stalls, new DOMINOS outlet. City of Clouds never fail to welcome you, with its hoooott weather.