Game where you lose all the time

DISCLAIMER : This is an emo post so whoever despises emo blog posts, just piss off.

Again I’m on the losing side. Whatever the game He’s playing, I’m defly going down the ladder this time. I chose to put in hope despite all the loose ends. Yet again I’ve been proved wrong. I mean c’mon what’s life without having hopes? That what writers brag in their writings. But when it’s me, my hopes gotta be crashed. In any way possible.

Things were alright UNTIL evening.

My few days old butterflies are already dying. How fair it is when they have JUST started to grow wings?? Let it be a year or a week or few days, my butterflies always die when they’re happily flapping their wings. Yet I never learn the lesson.

So this is a way of You telling me that I’m not worth anyfreakingbutterflies???

Taking Risks

Life never fails to surprise us. I simply love the phrase. Whenever you feel you’ve seen everything, life proves you wrong by opening up a new path. I’ve been ignorant to quite a few people because of reasons unknown to myself. I just felt their requests were silly. Without seeing, without meeting and falling just by looking at pictures? Utter bullshit. I was just too arrogant to admit that I’m just a timid lil girl who doesn’t want to grow up at all.

Now everything is upside down. Totally. Never seen. Never mingled. No one-on-on talks. Never embraced. But strongly captivated. One may say it’s silly. Even I am admitting it sounds darn silly and without base at all. Yet here I am asking myself tremendous amount of questions. I wouldn’t be doing this if there isn’t something.

The spark is there. The chemistry is working. The voice is mesmerizing. The care is overflowing. The requests are obeyed. How how how? How without meeting even once? I am a dreamer but this time it’s like I’m captured in my own dream. Imprisoned within my own doubts. Times like this, God where are u hiding yourself? I’m asking you for signs. But without a proper prayer, I know you’re giving me the raised-eyebrow look now.

Well I’m just not prepared for any answer now. Butterflies are flying. Smiles all over. Headphones over the ears. I’m having fun. After all it’s no harm in knowing a new person right? Even if things don’t work out, we’d still be friends.

I seriously don’t know where is this heading and not intending to find out anytime soon either. I’m gona sit back and relax. Just the thing I’m doing now. When I’m true, good things will happen to me. Its’s all about karma anyway.

Like Paulo Coelho says:

“How to find your soul mate?”

“By taking risks.”

Guess I’m ready now for that.