Daphne at the Lowest

Rocky proved himself a rigid badger. Daphne half convinced herself it’s no point anymore. Yet her heart is just too crazy to obey her brain. She can’t help looking and falling for Rocky again and again. Head over stilettos. It breaks her heart  when she has to walk down the lane alone.

She’s happy that Placy finally got herself a stag of her choice. It’s awesome to see how happy Placy gets whenever the stag is around. Daphne’s heart is also filled with happiness. At least in the external part of her heart. The deep inner part of it shatters with envy.

Why can’t she achieve this kind of joy?

Why can’t she get the badger of her choice?

Why can’t she smile all over each time his thoughts visit her mind?

Why can’t she blush with joy?

Why can’t she say I Love You  without feeling dejected?

Too many whys with only one answer in the nearest distant. Rocky.

Mere attraction

Yeah it’s mere attraction. I’m more of certain now. You get attracted when you meet a nice sweet person. And the next step would be taken IF the other party is attracted as well. If no mutual attraction takes place, we can be friends as usual. That’s what I WANT to happen. They are  those whom I can’t bear to lose at any cost.

Again I proved myself bloody emotional. Cried for no apparent reason. Only difference is this time I did it in front of my besties. Listening to them discussing and exchanging opinions did open up my eyes. No point in tearing for things that will drift you apart. Thinking of these two guys really drifts me apart. And I hate it when all I could do is drawing up my own conclusions.

I’m glad that I’m done with my thinking and having a clear cut decision made up in my mind. Friends are important and you should not mourn when you’re having fun together. My problems are mine to solve. When I’m with them, all I should do is smile and laugh. 🙂

Valentines 2009

An official statement to make : I suck at making choices.

Let it be anything. I totally suck at it. After everything that people can get confused with, I’m now confused with my own feelings and men. Damn.

Putting stupid confusion aside, I had a superb Valentines this year. No I didn’t get roses and not bothered either. When have I ever be fans of bouquets? And I’m still pathetically single. Gosh did I just say that? Well being a person with overflowing amount of love, it’s not wrong to want to share it someone alright.

I was with my friends whom I refer to as family. We’re a family indeed. We were together for the most portions of Friday and Saturday. Thivy finished her CA and we didn’t need extra reasons to celebrate. We dragged her to Old Town along with her sleepy eyes. Despite the clock striking 12, we drove all the way to Cathay to watch Padikathavan. Mamak-ed all the way. The movie was an OK one but turned out to be splendid with the amount of sound we made. 😛

After the movie, we were not ready to admit we’re tired. So we forced ourselves to keep awake by sharing horror stories. Never knew Ganesh anna is such a fun person. Clearly there’s more to him than skin deep. In the end, Honestly I was darn tired.

Somebody needs to give us a big grandfather clock. Cuz we lost track when we’re together. Breakfast at 2. Lunch at 4. Dinner at 10. Supper is the only meal we take accordingly. Deepu was back on Saturday. Another reason for us to celebrate. One of these days Anandha Bhawan’s gona put a No Entry board when they see PCC. Such a hell of noise we make.

First Beat wasn’t my type of concert. So all I did was shout and scream and make noise. We left halfway to have dinner in Tjg.Dawai.Not bad the food over there. We could even get something vegan for those two herbivores. The rest of the night was a walk to remember. Bagan Ajam at midnite. Singing while listening to the wave sound. Making fun of each other. Threatening to push Thivy into the sea. Cheering Desmond up. Too good to be true. Yet it is.

Only thing I could say : Thank you god. very the much. For granting me these people around me. With them, I know I’m safe, cared for and loved. At anytime of the day. 🙂

crying for nothing doesn’t mean you’re insane

It’s not that you’re crying for nothing. It’s actually the best way to let go your agony without letting go your rage. You can always abuse those who cause you this grief with words. But the words will follow you like shadows. Very very dark ones. Adding with the fact that you can’t eat your words and people won’t forget what you spoke against them, it’s like driving the knife even deeper. Into your own wound. Which actually hurts. Very much.

So here I am activating my lacrimal glands proving that they aren’t exactly voluntary. Why do I tearing actually? Because I feel miserable. Bingo. Why do I feel miserable when I actually looked forward for Thaipusam? This one i have no idea myself.

My smart-ass self says it’s that old instincts that pays a visit whenever something wrong is gona happen soon. Which is the last thing i want right now. I’m gona meet my ex after 13 months with my entire family moving around within close proximity. Exactly the situation I was dreaming all the way na?

Crap. Total crap. Somebody please help me. Put this unstable mind of mine back into it’s shell. It just loves to spin and spin and spin and come up with complicated stuff.

What I need now is DISTRACTION. I have two guys in mind who will provide the exact type of distraction. Too bad I’m no more friends with one of them. Thanks to my loud-mouth. Another one is just too busy and perhaps will think I’m trying to create a forced conversation with him. So I’ve ended up with having SunMusic as a distraction. A not so smart option. Because they play mostly crap songs nowadays. Screw the world!!!

Daphne Sings Happy Birthday Again :)

It’s Rocky’s birthday. So Daphne sings again. Isn’t it sweet that their birthdays are next to each other? But Rocky can never sense it. He’s a dumb badger, that’s why. No matter how dumb and crude he is, he still took time to call and wish Daphne. So she did the same for his birthday. But she outruled him – as usual. Her call reached him right on time. When the grandfather clock struck 12. Like a Cinderella. He was busy celebrating with his badger friends. Yet he promised to call back. Well, let’s see if badgers are good in keeping their words.