Today I was sitting at my study table and going through my things in it. Suddenly I got the feel like I’m still in school. The days when I’ll sit at my table right after tuition classes; day-dreaming,smsing,writing diary,blogging,using lappie, and studying (really!). Those days which will never come back. Especially my form 4 and form 5 life. Too many things, good and bad. While I was going through my things, I got hold of my old book which i used as diary. I flipped the pages despite my long-time-ago promise. I’d told myself not to open the book again cuz it brings in more tears. amazingly, today my tear glands stopped functioning.
Now I miss my those days. The days when I got myself my first ever boyfriend. My sky high happiness in getting him and the scattering of my little fragile heart when he just threw it on the floor. The days when I cried to sleep, the days when my knees shook at the sight of him, and the days when i longed for a mere look from him. Also the days when Arshia,Yusha and I were best of friends. I can never forget how almost the whole school knows we’re a team and that we never separate in anything. And how we called ourselves as Y.A.R Rulez! We even had our breakups from our guys at the same period of time. We lend each other shoulders during those ‘critical’ moments.
How can I ever forget the way Yusha supported me when I was too timid to face Him? How can I ever forget the way Arshia was angry when she knew how He played with my feelings? Or even the way we bitch about MEN who break our hearts? There were days when I had my worst fight with my mom and I was relieved cuz I had them with me. Can the days where we tried to discuss answers for our Chemistry exam return again? Or even the days where we used to skip classes and lepak in the canteen?
Mrs. Nagappan tried her level best to make us study in her class. Yet we always end up laughing like hyenas during Chemistry. I’ll be the one sitting in the middle cuz i always fight for that. We shared our books, scribbled in each others’ books and notes, counted minutes for the clock to strike four, asked for break and never return to class till it’s 10 more minutes for the class to end. Those days can never return again. We were running about freely but there came a speed breaker. Arshia had to shift to KL. I remember how much I cried on the day she had to depart. The warm hug lasted as long as we could drag the time. I felt as if a part of me had just left me.
After she departed, things started to change and we started to have different circle of friends. I started to have few other good friends. I’ve got myself a group of girls from Convent. The so-called legendary rivalry between Convent and ACS was broken by our friendship. Sugania, Jaya, Kumalatha, Sharas, Shangari, Letchumy, Shamenee, Sharmela and few others really made my Form5 life wonderful. My tuitions in Sukses and Gemilang would have been super duper boring without them.
Now coming to the present: the friendship between me and Ash has never changed over time. It has been thickened and it will stay that way till the end. One thing that is very important to keep lasting friendships is the effort to keep in touch. Like how Sugi,Jaya,Sharas,Shan,Dev and Arshia are doing. We put in effort to keep in touch with each other. The least is by using SMS. Well, there must be something that went very wrong between Yusha and I. There must be a very strong reason for us to go apart into our own ways. It’s been a year since I’ve seen her. And now she has shifted to Sabah without even informing me. That means there is very very thin chance of us meeting again. Somewhere deep down my heart, it hurts.