It’s not that you’re crying for nothing. It’s actually the best way to let go your agony without letting go your rage. You can always abuse those who cause you this grief with words. But the words will follow you like shadows. Very very dark ones. Adding with the fact that you can’t eat your words and people won’t forget what you spoke against them, it’s like driving the knife even deeper. Into your own wound. Which actually hurts. Very much.
So here I am activating my lacrimal glands proving that they aren’t exactly voluntary. Why do I tearing actually? Because I feel miserable. Bingo. Why do I feel miserable when I actually looked forward for Thaipusam? This one i have no idea myself.
My smart-ass self says it’s that old instincts that pays a visit whenever something wrong is gona happen soon. Which is the last thing i want right now. I’m gona meet my ex after 13 months with my entire family moving around within close proximity. Exactly the situation I was dreaming all the way na?
Crap. Total crap. Somebody please help me. Put this unstable mind of mine back into it’s shell. It just loves to spin and spin and spin and come up with complicated stuff.
What I need now is DISTRACTION. I have two guys in mind who will provide the exact type of distraction. Too bad I’m no more friends with one of them. Thanks to my loud-mouth. Another one is just too busy and perhaps will think I’m trying to create a forced conversation with him. So I’ve ended up with having SunMusic as a distraction. A not so smart option. Because they play mostly crap songs nowadays. Screw the world!!!
1 Comment
February 7, 2009 at 9:39 am
Hey gal…chill k..I totally understand how you feel..but you just have to take a chill pill..furthermore you were the one who made the desicion though it was partially driven by your parents..soo have a wonderful thaipusam, and just let go all that grief k..