Happy Birthday, Love.

Birthdays are very special. Especially your own one. I believe that celebrations keep our life more meaningful. Celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, friendships – heck life itself is worth celebrating. You celebrate something that you think pleasing enough. Things that you are grateful for, things that make you feel good, things that keep giving you smiles, things that keep the butterflies alive.

When I was a teenager, I used to annoy the hell out of my friends by making a one month countdown to my birthday. That will be the main reason I look forward for the reopening of school – when most kids  were sad that their morning sleeps were gone.I would make puppy face to my friends expecting them to get excited as I was. God knows how annoyed they were. Imagine the first thing you get to hear in the morning when you’re still sleepwalking like a zombie – “25 more days!”

I didn’t know back then the significance of my own birthday. I was always my favorite person in this world. I love myself like nothing else. I made it a point to stand in front of the mirror and smile to myself before going to bed every night. I find this life God has given me is a gift worth to be cherished.

I never liked having huge parties for myself, though I love throwing parties for other occasions. My ideal way of celebrating this day would be staying home with my parents who don’t give a fuss about parties. Maybe one day I would try being completely alone on my birthday. What more the best way to celebrate if not with myself? With an authentic pizza, a glass of Hoe Gaarden, a Maniratnam movie, plenty of A.R.Rahman songs, a good book by Susan E. Phillips, a long shower and followed by a good  peaceful sleep.

When that happens, I’d know that I’m dead and entered heaven.

Things to do before I die.

1. Visit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Florida.

2. Own a wand and a cloak.

3. Take a picture at the Platform 9 3/4 of Kings Cross Station.

4. Dance in the middle of a mall.

5. Publish or at least co-publish a book.

6. Get an autograph of Mani Ratnam on my palm and photocopy it.

7. Faint in front of A.R.Rahman.

8. Join the Prabhu Deva Dance Academy in Singapore.

9. Complete reading at least one scripture of every religion.

10. Learn Telugu from the basics.

11. Step into Ayodhya.

12. See Mohenjo-Daro for myself.

13. Sleep for 48 straight hours.

14. Sit on an elephant.

15. Dance on the bar table, without getting drunk.

16. Talk crap on the beach at midnight.

17. Own a yacht.

18. Climb up to the Hanuman temple in Lumut.

19. Bring my parents to London on a month trip and pay the entire expense.

20. Throw away my fear of drowning and learn swimming.

21. Have coffee talk with Paulo Coelho.

22. Give J.K.Rowling a hug.

23. Decorate my own home into a boutique home.

24. Go vacation around Europe with my besties.

25. Dance in my wedding party.

26. Learn yoga.

27. Cook like a pro.

28. Write for a magazine.

29. Run a dental surgery with a tag line – Your Smile is Precious.

30. Pronounce all the brands in the world correctly.

31. Adopt at least a kid.

32. Get a tattoo.

33. Skydive.

Milestones.

I always believe that life isn’t about reaching destination but the journey throughout. Most of us are fortunate enough because we’re granted a long journey, unlike those kids who were born with AIDS or cancer. They have no choice but to look forward death without understanding the reason behind their illness. There couldn’t be anything deathly than having so many unanswered questions in life. I have a friend whose brother-in-law suffered in leukemia for more than a year before greeting Yama. He needn’t have to go through all the chemos and radios. He needn’t have to undergo surgeries which took away all his strength. He needn’t have to leave behind a woman after being married to her for only a few years. He had such a good eye for photography. He had his whole life laid before him, until one day the big man up there decided to plant a time bomb in his life.

I have tonnes of unanswered questions popping up daily.  His departure from this world added more questions to the list. I want to understand life. I want to know my capacities. I want to reach my extreme borders with definite dreams in my eyes. I am very fortunate for been given the light of my destiny quite on time. I never had dentist in my ambition list. Lawyer, scientist, astronaut, interior designer, medical doctor etc. Everything in the world but a dentist or a teacher (thanks to my mother). My mother possesses that intense dedication towards her career till I knew if I can’t reach up to her level, I will make a terrible teacher. But she taught me that you have to be truly dedicated to what you’re being paid for. That is your duty and you should never seek excuses not to complete your duty.

Now after four years, I am pretty sure this is my destiny. I love teeth; I love giving people beautiful smiles; I love giving importance to aesthetics. Will I leave this for another passion of mine, dance? No. I want to be a dancing dentist. Both feed happiness to me. God is fair to me because He made me realize my dreams. Now that I have dreams, I could work towards them. I  would know whenever I reach a milestone of my dream. My first milestone would be going through supplementary papers in Year 1. The following was when my first patient walked into the clinic in Year 3. My next milestone would be when I issue my first denture. I don’t mind getting battered by the books and the teachers, as long as I learn it the right way.

Talking about dreams, how many of us are actually courageous enough to pursue them? How many us are willing to leave our comfort zone and venture into something unknown? Something your own parents didn’t have enough confidence of.

There was nobody to support you through the dream initially yet you chose to work towards it. Only because you alone have believe in yourself. Then one day people start to turn their heads and be amazed. The qualities that you were laughed upon by your immature teenage friends became your pillars of strength. Once upon a time you were the editor of your own scrapbook. Today you have written a whole novel – The Rainforest Unicorns.

Amongst so many of current youths who chase after either money or chicks, you chose to chase after your dream instead. I wish there are many of us with this kind of attitude towards life. Many take this life given to them for granted. Many don’t realize that by evolving themselves, they actually evolve their surroundings. Life is not a debit machine where you keep withdrawing to spend. It is also not a fixed deposit account where you keep storing your profits. When the world is moving greedily behind money, you gained my attention through your selfless acts of helping people. By knowing your acceptance of life as it is; people as they are, you gained my respect.

Giving has so much of pleasure. I always enjoyed giving people what I would like to be given. I enjoy shopping for gifts rather than for myself. I like celebrating important events of others. Have you ever organized a birthday party for a close friend who had misunderstandings with you and later enjoy observing your friends running around with the cake, party bloopers etc., while you collecting the left over boxes around the place? It’s an amazing feeling to see happiness on others’ faces. Happiness is contagious. The more people around you are happy, the happier you get though you’re in a deep shit.  I wish people will give more in order to receive. When you choose to abandon your own dentures and offer to assist an DSA-less operator, one day (within the same week, normally) you get it paid well. Karma isn’t a bitch (though my foul mouth does abuse so) ,it is just a way of reality proving Newton’s third law is utmost right.

Rainforest Unicorns, is publishing in about 48 hours. I never doubted Ram’s talent. He’s a born writer. Seeing everything in a solid form, that too in such a young age, I can’t help but let myself swell in pride. The same way I swelled when my brothers received the scroll. The same way I swelled when my sister received the Best Student Award. The same way I swelled when my mom’s school got awarded as one of the best schools in the state.

” Direction is more important that speed. We are so busy looking at our speedometers that we forget the milestone ” – Unknown

Not wrong – to follow your brain

Sometimes you have to think what’s best for the future and choose the road always taken.

The more I say I’m happy, I start believing that I am happy indeed.

When I love you is an understatement

What I have with you is beyond beautiful. It gives me contentment. It allows me to sleep peacefully at night. It gives me this assurance that none other gives. I can boldly say I know you like the back of my hand. I know you’ll hold me throughout. I know I can dedicate that song for you. I’m convinced that you’re here to stay. That you have been putting in enough effort and not hesitant to put in more. That you are willing to spend energy for my happiness. That you will defend me to this world.

You allow me to build dreams – of my own and ours. You spur my creativity. You motivate me to grow my passions. You never stand in my way of independence – unless to hug me. You walk me through my fears – having my hand in yours. You guide me through my mistakes. You allow me to realize and come to terms with them. You never got intimidated by my personality. You managed your insecurities brilliantly while helping me through mine. You listen when I complain continuously. You ask for my opinions because you respect my views. You understand me – like how I understand myself.

You not only treat me like a princess, in fact you make me feel like one.  

Cityville rocks!

The last time I blogged was nearly 2 months ago. With the exams and tumblr fiesta, hence the hiatus. I managed to scrape four passes – this time without any viva. Thus I’m kind of proud of myself for being where I am, doing what I’m doing. Actually more than that, I’m prouder for Hasvene. Despite all the 23457737882 complaints and sleepless nights she had, she passed her foundation course really well. And now I’m a proud senior-cum-big sister of an eighteen-year old. How cool is that?

Holidays. A complete 6 weeks of nothingness. The first week was devoted to planning the Melaka trip with my girlfriends. Melaka turned out to be adventurous.  Well, the night could have been a little bit more fair to us by not draining our energy in finding a proper place to stay the night. However when you’re with a bunch of crazy heads, you don’t really seem to care much. We crammed into a room which was meant to be for 3 people. My mom’s camera chose the second day to break down. So I couldn’t take as many pictures as I would liked to. But the company I had made it all worthwhile. Melaka is an awesome place indeed. With so much of color and heritage. I’m definitely going again to explore more and of course,with a better camera.

The following week of my holidays was devoted to family time. We had movies, late night chats, suppers, gossiping about everyone and everything in this world, chasing each other around the house etc. I do miss Livin Anna though. We’re all growing up too fast.  Both my brothers are working already. Which means they’re adults! Which also means we sisters can burn bigger holes in their pockets, but then lesser time together. Sometimes, I wish  that we’re still kids who long for year end school holidays.

Then Deathly Hallows was released to announce that my childhood is finally over. My most favorite part of the movie was Snape’s memory. Him cradling Lily, him crying his heart out, his doe patronus. However I liked Part 1 better, for many apparent reasons. It’s hard not to get disappointed with the final battle and the Kings Cross limbo. Also when Harry snapped the elder wand, I went whatthefuckareyoudoing,howareyougoingtomendYOURwandnow? 

The next few days were dedicated to Pottermore. I could only register on Day 3 therefore my welcome owl is yet to arrive. I am so excited that my wand could catch sparks.

Week 5 was all about transforming into a house elf. Never underestimate the power of cements and drills. They turn your whole house dustier than Number 12 Grimmauld Place. So I’m my mom’s Kreacher who isn’t allowed to mutter under my breath.

Now with 4 more days before catching the Portkey back to Muggle Hogwarts, I’m looking forward for many things this year. More obedientpunctualpolite patients, less head-scratching moments during briefing, complete and partial dentures, simple and multiple root canal treatments, removal orthodontic appliances, moon-cake festival, cheer leading practices, spamming our groups, orientating my sister, Thiviya’s sister’s wedding and passing fourth year exams with better grades. There you go. More like resolutions.

You make my heart smile – yet again. You make my heart race – like always. You make me love – like there’s nothing else matters. Thank you.

 

 

The warrior has spoken

There is something very sexy about swords. Especially the hilt of the sword. Somewhere amidst the growing up process, I shifted my imagination from being a feminine demure Cinderella to a bold princess. I wish believe that in my last birth, my father was a King of an ancient Indian kingdom and he trained me in sword dueling and archery.

when Love beckons you, follow him.

The world is a sexist place. Men have huge expectations to meet. They have to be strong no matter what happens. They should not shed tears even at the lowest point of their lives. They have to go on their knees proposing in every creative ways they can think of. They have to put up with PMSes. They are obliged to be macho at all times. Some men can’t use facial cleansers and mosturisers without being critisized by their friends. They have to be successful in their life. They have to earn four figures in order not to be labelled as a loser. They can’t lodge reports against rape cases. They can’t be victims at any scenario. They have to pay for dinners or else will be mocked for being stingy. They have to perform awesomely on bed. They have to meet all kinds of unrealistic expectations girls like me built in our dreams. It is really hard to raise a son into a confident man in our current world. Everyone runs to a girl who falls down from her bicycle. Unfortunately boy her age has to get up on his own somehow, without bothering about the bruises that he got on his knees.

“And the warrior has now made the unique woman his princess, and now is embarking on a journey where he would be able to make her the queen of the kingdom.”

I miss you SO much!

the man i adore

The one I grew up with.

The one I followed blindly everywhere that he brings me and ended up being chased by wild dogs.

The one I laughed at all his jokes.

The one whose mere presence glitters my face with smiles.

The one I wanted to marry at the age when I thought being married means being together all the time and not just the holidays.

The one who shared a blanket with me so that we could talk the whole night.

The one who taught me that stolen mangoes are the best ones.

The one who pushed me on the swings.

The one who stood up for me when the racist kids bullied us.

The one who would have slapped the idiot back if only he was there

The one who blew soap bubbles with me.

The one who ran in the rain with me despite knowing that we gonna be punished later.

The one who taught me my first bike ride.

The one who never laughed at me for having the engine stop running – for more than 10 times consecutively.

The one who didn’t yell at me for not avoiding the rocks.

The one who claps for me.

The one who defends me to my mother.

The one whom I pray for every night before going to sleep.

The one whom I unknowingly hurt so much.

The one who put down his best friend for my sake.

The one who sent me this huge birthday card.

The one who is super patient with my attitude.

The one who says I’m the best sister he can ever have.

Why don’t you just add me back?

After a long walk under the sun because AIMST doesn’t believe in investing in shaded walkways I can afford to get more tanned than I already am, I collected my examination slip. A way of reality snapping back into my idle mind. Two more weeks of study break and four days of sleep deprived nights, aaaaandd phew! I’ll be done with the written parts of Year 3. Even the sound of me typing this feels so serene.

I miss snapping pictures. Ever since my camera fell sick, I’ve been running through loads of google pictures. Sometimes I look up the sky and some pretty clouds pass by, I feel wasted.  I hope it will be ready soon and accompany us during our Journey to the South. Oh yeah, it’s our yearly vacation time again.

Isn’t it insane to post updates in Facebook though the one whom they’re directed to can’t view them? Maybe it’s like sending the message to the wind, hoping that the next time they feel the breeze, they can feel our caress too. They can know that they’re being missed.

 

Engeyum Kadhal – Ich Ich Ich..

Indian movies has this taboo of lip kisses so this is the most we go on screen

Last year, at about the same time of the year I remember declining my inner temptations of running to the nearest cinema to catch Raavanan upon it’s release. This year, the same final exams did not manage to stop me from abandoning my Surgery notes and drive down to Butterworth to watch Engeyum Kadhal. Of course Prabhu Deva isn’t anywhere near Mani. But do I feel guilty? No. The movie captured my heart so badly. I agree it didn’t have much depth or story but I’m a sucker for excellent cinematography, authentic locations, LOVE and of course the Prabhu Deva element.

The title says it all – Love Everywhere. PD appearing at the opening introducing Paris as the Capital City of Love, moving around gracefully around the city capturing couples all over the place felt awesome. I was smiling – from this ear to the other. Because it was my fantasy. Of finding true love. Of keep believing in love though life disappoints me. Of looking out for the prince charming galloping on the white horse. It’s a fantasy I tried my utmost best in denying. After the tough 2 months, I got sick of the depression. I wanted to crash my brains in a blender and pour the disgusting content into the sea. I wished my heart was made of pure stone and metal which will never allow any light through their atoms.

The past one week has been a break. I am brave to admit that I am happy. I am brave enough to say that I deserve more happiness. A series of unfortunate events may have turned my back towards the main thing i believe in life – that Love makes us humans a little more than just blood and flesh. Ram told me that it’s really painful to see a love worshiper like me being bitter. He was right. He IS right, as usual. Being a coward and running away from loving selflessly is not who I am. My soul is not made of stones. My heart doesn’t pump oxygen alone. It thinks. It helps the brain to think passionately. I can’t just shut it off and expect my other vital organs to function optimally.

Again I got reminded of a movie that taught me of destiny and fantasy – Dil To Pagal Hai.

What did I tell you about my obsession about musical romances? It’s a miracle that I don’t hire a troop of musicians to serve me through out my life. Each time something happens, a background score is composed. Now that would beat any Indian cinema. Thank you Prabhu, for giving me a Tamil DTPH. Now I can sleep peacefully.

And one fine day, she decided to change her look